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The text fades leaving a black screen
Kate Bush’s Rubberband Girl starts to play. Fade from black to long shot of a long oak table in a brightly lit room. There are fourteen identical white envelopes in a neat straight line on the table. As Kate sings ‘See those trees’ the camera starts to pan long the table looking down at the table our view pasts each one of the fourteen envelopes, we see they are all addressed to Ed Matthews but each address is different. We get to the end of the line of envelopes as Kate sings ‘You see I try to resist’. The camera angle changes so we are looking long the table at all the envelopes and as Kate sings ‘A rubberband bouncing back to life.’ we see a pair of hands wearing black leather gloves pick up each of the envelopes. When Kate sings ‘I’d be back on my feet’, we cut to a low shot of some black trouser with a blue pair of stiletto shoes walking along a pavement in time with the beat. The person stops in front of a red post box. Cut to a back view of the woman in front of the post box she is wearing a long black coat and has long dark hair and she is wearing black gloves; she is posting each of the white envelopes slowly into the post box one at a time. We pan forward and the woman is holding the last of the envelopes, we zoom in on it and on the name Ed Matthews. The woman slides the envelope into the post box and the camera follows it down in to the dark of the box. Cut to black. Cut to low view of the inside of a door with a ‘Welcome’ doormat, a white envelope falls on to a doormat. Low view of the doormat and envelope as a pair of male bare feet comes into view and a hand picks the envelope up. The song is still playing. Cut to a view of the house hallway. Back view of a man with grey hair and wearing a racing green dressing gown and bare feet walking down the hall toward an open door to a kitchen. Cut to inside the kitchen. The man puts the envelope the top of a breakfast bar and goes to the fridge. He pulls out a bottle of milk and places next to the envelope. He goes to a cupboard and get out a bowl and a box of cornflakes. He opens the cornflakes and shakes some into the bowl and then picks up the bottle and pours some milk. As he puts the bottle down there is a ‘meow’ and a large ginger cat jumps onto the breakfast bar counter and knocks the box of cornflakes to the floor.
Man: “Oh Reuben; you bastard.”
The man picks up the cat and puts it on the floor.
Man: “You’ve had your breakfast. Bugger off.”
The cat walks to the backdoor and goes out the cat flap. The man turns back to the counter and he sees the envelope again; picks it up and opens it. It is a white card with black text with “Get Well. Soon!” written on it. Kate is singing ‘One rubberband will keep you up’ as the man (while frowning) opens the card and a bright red rubberband falls from the card into the bowl of corn flakes and milk.
Man: “What the hell?”
The song is now coming to the end and the man picks the rubberband out the bowl and holds it up looking at it. Pan down to the bowl, we hear the man gasp and we see his hand swipe across the counter knocking the bowl off the counter. Cut to low shot of the floor as the bowl hits the floor spilling milk and cornflake and the red rubberband falls to floor amongst the milk and cornflakes and we hear a thud of the man falling to floor. Cut to the cat flap and the ginger cats head pokes through the cat flap and the cat meows. The song fades to the end and a slow fade to black while looking at the cat’s face.
Fade from black to outside the metropolitan police station; Lovett and Die are walking out of the station. Lovett is wearing her red coat and Die his black suit. Lovett is holding a police report folder.
Lovett: “Well, what do you think?”
Die: “Are we only ever going to get the strange cases?”
Lovett: “Yep. Hogges thinks we are a strange pair; so why not give the weird ones to us? At least no one has died this time.”
Die: “Makes a nice change. This doctor from the NPIS is meeting us at the hospital right?”
Lovett: “Yeah, us and fourteen men called Ed Matthews. Which is strange.”
Die: “Hogges might have a point.”
Lovett: “Speak for yourself! I’m not strange!”
Die: “What did you have for breakfast this morning?”
Lovett: “Your cold left over chicken chow mein, a cheese roll, a coffee and a ginger beer. Why?”
Die: “You’re right. You’re not strange at all.”
Lovett: “What’s that meant to mean!”
Lovett and Die walk up to his F-type Jag.
Die: “Do you want to drive?”
Lovett: “No. You drive.”
Die looks stunned
Die: “What? You never say no.”
Lovett puts a hand into one of her coat pockets and pulls out a large sausage roll. She waves the sausage roll at him.
Lovett: “I can’t drive and eat second breakfast can I?”
Die starts to laugh. Fade to black as the pair of them get into the car.